Encouragement For Feeling Deficient

I'm know I haven't posted in ages, life has been increasingly busy. There's been much happening in my life. 

My son Jude is now four, he's brilliant, funny, loving, and clever. 

I have a daughter named Rowan that is sixteen months old. She is smart, quirky, reserved, and sweet. 

I will be 21 this Saturday, I can't believe how fast the previous year went by. 

I am still single- Rowan's dad and I never got back together and I had a relationship with a great man for nearly eight months, but that didn't work out. There's more to that story, but I'll save that for another time.

I am home full time, and still do childcare out of my home, and as much as I enjoy doing it, I miss having a real job some days. 

I have enormous self esteem issues. I've tried losing weight and getting into shape, but it's been a challenge. I long to go to the gym and work out, but I don't have the means to do so, I've tried eating better and exercising daily, and it hasn't changed anything. 

So, my life hasn't changed very much over the last two years, aside from having Rowan, moving, and getting a giant dog, everything else seems to be quite similar. 

It's actually kind of saddening, how much my life has remained on pause. At times I don't feel as though I've progressed or moved forward with my life, I feel like I lack personal growth aswell.  

I see the people around me moving forward and being successful in their lives, and I feel like I am miles behind them. They are getting engaged, or married, or buying houses, and I'm still here, renting, single, and stuck. Feeling inadequate. 

I've picked up some hobbies, learning to make clothes, I have realized that I'm surprisingly artistic. I've taken up drawing portraits, not my best skill, but it's not that bad. 

I've become involved with other moms, parenting groups in the area, taken quite a few parenting classes. I've improved my parenting and have become a much better Mom than I used to be. 

Even though I've made positive changes in my life and have become a better person, I still feel like I haven't progressed in my life. I still feel empty. 

But I've noticed something, when I spend time reading my Bible, studying the word, a little spark ignites within me. I feel a little more whole, I feel good. 

I am not very good at keeping up on it though and within a few days, I'm back to where I was, feeling empty and incomplete. It's amazing the difference it makes, how it changes me, and my outlook on things. I feel better about myself, my life, my accomplishments, and my family. 

The bible speaks about self esteem and feeling good about yourself and your life, so even when I am feeling down, the Lord's word encourages me, and helps me. When I am afraid, worried about my life, or upset about daily things, God comforts me. God helps me through my self esteem problems aswell, He helps me feel good about myself, His word shows me how He sees me, and how much He loves me. 

Psalms 46: 1-3 

God is our shelter and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble. So we will not be afraid, even if the earth is shaken and mountains fall into the ocean depths; even if the seas roar and rage, and the hills are shaken by the violence.

Song Of Solomon 4:7 

You are all together beautiful, my love, there is no flaw in you. 

1st Peter 3: 3-4

Do not let your adorning be external- the braiding of hair and putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear- but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. 

2nd Corinthians 12: 10

For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities, for when I am weak, then I am strong. 

Isaiah 41: 10

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Philippians 4: 6-7

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

2nd Timothy 1:7

For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.

God is always here to encourage me, and he wants to do the same for you, just have to let him. Step by step I am learning to feel better about myself and my life, even though it's hard and takes a lot of work, I am thankful for the work God is doing within me. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.  

Life Seemingly Unraveled

It has been quite some time since I blogged last, and I am sorry to those of whom follow my blog.

There have been many changes since my last entry. I am now finished high school, I submitted my last assignment today! I graduate at the end of this month, and I am quite thrilled to be done. 

I recently found out that I am pregnant, and I am due January 8th. It came as no surprise but we were by no means trying to have a baby. But alas, there's one on the way. I am almost three months now, and I am very excited, but quite nervous as well. 

Also, my boyfriend and I broke up. We fought a lot, more than we got along, and it became too much for us, and, after a blow out, we ended it. 

So these changes have occurred and my life is changing drastically. 

But the road ahead is not an easy one. In many ways I wish I hadn't made the choices that I have. Because of the decisions I made, my life is going to be very hard, and things are very painful right now. I wish I could go back and fix things, but I cannot, and that is a hard thing for me. 

But at the same time, this baby is a human being, and God already has a plan for him/her, and that is amazing. I am very excited to see what the Lord has planned for my family and my children. 

I know the things I did were wrong, I am far from perfect, and I am the first to admit that. Having sex outside of marriage is wrong, and I was blatantly sinning. I was not living a life that was pleasing to Christ, and because of that, my decisions, my life was a wreck. 

I spent my time focusing on the wrong things. The television shows that I watched, the music I listened to, and the words that I spoke, were not pleasing to God, and they took my focus away from Him. 

For the past week I really have been focusing on my relationship with God more, I have repented and turned from my sins, and have been trying my best to de-clutter and simplify my life. I began reading my Bible more, and watching television less. Praying more and playing less video games. I was learning things about Christianity that I didn't know before. And it felt great. 

And then the fight with my ex and I happened. 

It was big and it was awful. 

We both said things we didn't mean. 

We both acted out of anger. 

And we both went too far, beyond the point of reconciliation. 

And we are both hurting beyond belief. 

Even though I had made these changes for the better, things still fell apart. It's a part of life, I know that, but it was really disappointing, and it took my focus away from my relationship with God. But now, my focus is where it should be, and even though I still hurt, and I am grieving a relationship I had, I have God, and when I am lonesome and sad, I call out to Him for comfort and support. 

This entry may sound cluttered and hard to follow, and I apologize. I am really just sorting my thoughts. 

But at the same time, I want to encourage people who are going through hard times. People who feel alone and scared of what's to come. People who feel like they've lost everything. 

God wants to be our first choice. Not the last ditch attempt at feeling better after confiding in numerous people and not getting anywhere. He wants us to go to him first. Tell Him our hurts. Ask Him for comfort and support, and I promise you, He will give it if you are asking genuinely. 

He has helped me through this, and it will be a while before I feel okay again, but right now, I am still breathing. God still woke me up this morning, so He hasn't given up hope on me, no matter how badly I have messed up. 

I am sorry if this is a very melancholy entry, but its real, and it is where I am at right now. 

Canticles That Revitalize Mortal Beings

Songs can attach to people. 

Some are good and some aren't. 

Some can linger in our mind for seemingly no reason, others can hold significant meaning, and we might not even realize it. 

My boyfriend and I were going through some rough things and he sent me the song "I Won't Give Up" by Jason Mraz. It has been playing in my mind over and over since. 

Here are the lyrics. 

When I look into your eyesIt's like watching the night skyOr a beautiful sunriseWell there's so much they holdAnd just like them old starsI see that you've come so farTo be right where you areHow old is your soul?
I won't give up on usEven if the skies get roughI'm giving you all my loveI'm still looking up
And when you're needing your spaceTo do some navigatingI'll be here patiently waitingTo see what you find
'Cause even the stars they burnSome even fall to the earthWe've got a lot to learnGod knows we're worth itNo, i won't give up
I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easilyI'm here to stay and make the difference that i can makeOur differences they do a lot to teach us how to use the tools and giftsWe got yeah we got a lot at stakeAnd in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intendFor us to work we didn't break, we didn't burnWe had to learn, how to bend without the world caving inI had to learn what i got, and what i'm notAnd who i am
I won't give up on usEven if the skies get roughI'm giving you all my loveI'm still looking upI'm still looking up
I won't give up (No I'm not) on us (Giving up)God knows i'm tough (I am tough), he knows (I am loved)We got a lot (We're alive) to learn (We are loved)God knows we're worth it (And we're worth it)
I won't give up on usEven if the skies get roughI'm giving you all my loveI'm still looking up

Jason Mraz is not a Christian artist, but I think that even if a song isn't written by a Christian, it can still hold significant value. Some people think that if a song is written by a non Christian then it holds no worth, I disagree. 

This song to me can be used to describe a man's love for his wife, but also a way to describe God's love for us. It speaks of how even though people wander away, he will be there patiently waiting for her return. 

God feels the same. 

I know that I am not good at consistency, and there are times where I don't even think about God or the Bible. I sin but He is always there when I find my way back to Him.

God never gives up on us. 

He has utmost confidence in us, even though He knows we are going to mess up, fall away from Him, and sin. But He never gives up on us. 

The Bible says it many times. 

Romans 8:38-39
*For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.*

Ephesians 2: 4-8

*But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God*

So even when we sin, fall away from God, and we think all hope is lost and that He is no longer there, He is. 

He waits patiently for us to return to him, so it is our job to do so. 

Forgiveness For Contravening Humans

My son drives me crazy some days.
With tantrums, refusing to eat anything but cookies, getting into things he really shouldn't be in, and throwing things down the stairs, it's enough to make anyone lose their mind.
He also likes to help me out with daily tasks.
When he washes dishes with me he gets a bath and so does the entire kitchen!
When I am feeding the dog he sits there and eats the pieces as I put them into the bowl. He looks up at me and says "Helpin' Mommy!"
I must admit he's cute!
When its laundry time he throws all the clothes he can locate down the stairs, in effort to get them closer to the washer.
When it comes time to unload the dryer and fold the laundry, he pulls it all out of the dryer and on to the floor. He attempts to put it in the basket, but alas he is too short and weak to get it in, so the floor is a good last restort.

But I have to give him credit for trying. He is so curious and eager to learn new things! He wants to try everything!
He has a fresh outlook on things and it is so refreshing!

Just yesterday I was making supper and he was in the kitchen 'helping' me cook. He found a bag of small potatoes and he decided they should go down the stairs!
As I sat at the table and cut up the vegetables for my Greek salad I was constructing, he was busy darting back and forth from the stairs to the kitchen.
I looked up and I asked him what he was doing. This is how our conversation went.

Me: Jude, what are you doing?
Jude: 'Tatoe down stairs
Me: Really? You think that's a good place for them?
Jude: Good Jude!

After the amusment of watching him toss about three downt he stairs when he thought I wasnt watching, I had him clean them up.

Later on that day he wanted to help me let the dog out.
We were out in the country and the yard is large and far from the road.
So I opened the door to the house and gestured the dogs to go outside.
As I went to get my dog to put her outside too, Jude slipped out the door.
He had winter boots, a sleeper, and a sweater on.
And he was out the door haha.

I stood in the doorway calling him as he ran across the snowy yard laughing in amusment at himself.
He thought he was funny and clever because he'd outsmarted me and now had the yard to play in without me there to tell him no.
He walked around in the snow and thought it was great. I called him inside and he ignored me completely.
Then it hit him.
SNOW IS COLD!
He'd tripped a few times and gotten snowy, and he was not happy about it one bit.

He eventually decided to come back inside where it was warm and turned around to come back to the house.
But at that point he was wet from the snow and rather cold. He sat down in the yard and sobbed.
I could hear him from across the yard calling for me.
I got boots on and trecked out to get him.
He was so sad that he was wet and cold.
I brought him inside and gave him cuddles and then a warm bath.

I was going to punish him for disobeying me and not listening when I called him inside, but I think being cold and such was punishment enough.
He'd had his fun but once reality set in that it was not all fun and games, he had decided to come back in the house.
See my son is stubborn and hard headed.
He wants to do things himself and his way.
I find most people are like that to an extent.

The Bible speaks of children disobeying their parents quite frequenty.
The parable of the Proigal Son is a great example.

*In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons.  The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them.
  “Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living.  After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need.  So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs.  He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.
   “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death!  I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you.  I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’  So he got up and went to his father.
   “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.
   “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’
   “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. ²³ Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. ²⁴ For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.* Luke 15:9-32

Jude ran across the yard and didn't listen when I instructed him to come back to the house. He was feeling pretty good and independant. But I knew what the result would be of his actions.
We all disobey and contravene our parents and their rules.
We do the same with God.

We all sin and do things we shouldn't.
And yes God is disappointed and sad because He knows what the result of our actions will be.
Just like with Jude.
I knew his hands would be cold and he'd quit and want help from me to bring him inside. I knew he'd be unhappy. But he had to figure that out too.

God knows where our choices will take us and what consequences they have, but He cannot stop us from making them. He can call out to us and ask us not to do something, but he cannot stop us from doing them. That is why he gave us free will. We need to make these decisions ourselves and learn from our mistakes.
Yes we rebel and disobey, but God forgives.
He accepts us back home with open arms and an open heart.

No matter the mistakes we've made or how badly we've rebelled, He wants to forgive us, and all we have to do is sincerely ask and repent, and ask for forgiveness.
So there is hope, don't forget that.

The Domineering Progenitor

Parents can seem horribly overbearing at times.
They ask numerous questions that seem immensely unnecessary and without reason.
They want to knoow where we are, who we are with, what we are doing, how we are getting to and from our destinations, and when we plan to return.
Questions that are dreadfully annoying.

But our parents merely ask them because they care and want to ensure we are safe.
Which as young people we usually dismiss as snooping or prying, or any other such word used when someone inconveniently wants to know things about you.

There are also times when parents will say that you cannot do something in which you've requested permission to do.
They may not explain their reason as to why they denied you your request.
The reason they give may not make sense or hold merit in your eyes.
But they are your parents and it is their job to protect you and raise you well.

Growing up in our household, we were not allowed to watch horror movies, which suited me just fine, as they are my least favorite of all film genres.
We were allowed to watch 'Family Friendly' films.
Which frankly, I thoroughly enjoyed.
Morals, happy endings, and family bonding makes for an all around wholesome film.

I never really understood why we were not permitted to view said things, I didn't fight it, but I never really understood why, beyond that they are terrifying.

Until August.
I had watched a film at my apartment that was completely horrifying.
Not something I usually watch.
I made it through the film, it ended, and that was it.
Never watched it again.

I later understood why my parents had sheltered me from them.
There is so much more to films like that than meets the eye.

I was sitting on my bed late one evening on skype with a dear friend of mine.
I was sitting with my back against the window and I was facing my bedroom door, which was open about six inches.
My griaffe-print purse hung on the doorknob.
The house was silent and all the doors and windows were closed.
In the middle of my conversation, my door moved.
It closed almost completely and then swung back open.
By itself!
Then it resumed placement where it had been before the door moved.
Then my purse, which had remained stationary during the move my door made, swung back and forth.
By itself!

I was petrified instantly.
I was so completely terrified, I could not move.

My friend saw my expression through our Skype video chat, and asked what was wrong.
I told him what had happened and it was apparent that I was scared.

He asked me if I had watched any films in my house that were demonic or of evil intent.
I answered no, completely forgetting the film from weeks previous.
Then it came to me.
I told him about this film, it being 'Insidious' and I told him I watched it in my house just weeks prior to the day.

By the way, the word 'Insidious' means:
Stealthy, subtle, cunning, or treacherous.

Working in a subtle or apparently innocuous way, but nevertheless deadly.

He then proceeded to tell me of the way that Satan uses things to get to us and harm us.

Things like horror movies about demons.

Seemingly harmless to most.

But the effects it has, wow.

I had been told this before by my parents, but had forgotten about it until this incident occurred.

Watching films and television shows about demons and evil spirits invites such things to dwell in your home, whether you're aware or not.

I had unintentionally invited demons into my home and they were tormenting me.

And all I had done was watch a film about demon possesion...

I did not know it was as big of a deal as it was.

We cannot see the spiritual realm of things.
We cannot see what evil lurks about.

But we can guard ourselves against it and protect our homes and our families.

God instructs is to guard ourselves and prepare for evil, so when faced with it, we know what to do to be prepared and safe.

 

*Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.* Ephesians 6: 10-18

 

When I realized what was lurking in my home and that I invited it there, I knew it was my job to get rid of it.

I prayed against it as the head of the house and demanded it to leave and never return.
I had faith that God would protect me and that my authority over my home would send these evil spirits away for good.
And it worked.
I felt at peace and no longer frightened.
I thanked God for giving me the courage to speak against it like I did, and I thanked him for being with me through it.

When casting evil spirits out of one's home, there is no magical formula in which you need to follow perfectly in order for it to work.
You need faith, and to ask for God's help, and to speak against it.

The Bible says this about it:

*The seventy-two returned with joy and said, 'Lord, even the demons submit to us in your name.'
He replied, 'I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven. I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you. However, do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven.'*
Luke 10:17-20

*All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, God opposes the proud
but gives grace to the humble. Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.*
I Peter 5:5-11
I now understand why my parents were sheltering me from these films as a child.
They only did it because they cared.
All those questions they pestered me with were to ensure my safety.
Protect me, and as my parents, it's their job.
We don't see the damage that can be done by film, novels, and television shows, but it is huge.
God helped me ward off my demons, and He can help you too, you need only ask.

The Broken-Hearted-Ness Of The Overlooked Parent

Today, my son fell down, and was midly hurt.
He merely tripped, but he gets so distraught when he falls or bumps his head even the slightest bit, and most cases he's not even hurt, he's just angry.

Today when he fell, he came running tearfully towards me in search of comfort.
As his mother I was more than happy to give him cuddles and reassure him that it was alright, and help make him feel better.
I love being the person he seeks out in times of trouble and hurts.
I hope that throughout his life he can always come to me when he has troubles, hurts, fears, and insecurties.

I am quite sure most parents feel that way.
For me, it would break my heart if Jude were to seek someone else out for that reassurance and security, beyond myself or God.

There was a period of time when my son lived with a close family friend of mine so I could work through some personal problems I had.
During which time he had become accustomed to seeking that comfort from her.
It killed me.
Knowing that when he was sad, hurt, lonesome, or even just wanting affection, that he would go to her instead of me.  
Wow.
It was a horrible feeling.
Yes, him being there was my decision, but I did not know how much it would effect all of us as much as it did, and in the ways that it did.
I felt like a failure as a mother, and I am sure in some ways I was.
In the regard that I was not there for him when he needed me.
It was heartwrenching and painstaking.
A tough pill I had to swallow.

But I realized the damage I had done and knew it needed to change.
Jude moved back home with me and things have been so much better between us since then!
I do not think we have ever been closer, our mother-son bond is stronger than it has ever been, and I love it!

Once I got my head on straight, stepped up, and became the parent he needed, things improved greatly.
Now when he is sad, frightened, lonesome, and just feeling down, he comes to me.
He knows that I love him.
And I wouldn't have it any other way.
I am that support for him that he needs.

God is our Father.
He cares about us more than we can even fathom.
But we often don't even see it.
We don't go to him when we have hurts.
When things are hard and we are scared.
And if we do, its usually a last ditch attempt to beg for help out of desperation.
Frankly, that isn't fair.
He loves us so much, and to go to someone else with our hurts must just break his heart.
To my son, going to someone else admist troubles and saddness, was his only option.
I wasn't there for him.
It was my fault.

But with God, it is not his fault we dont go to Him when we should.
He is always there, waiting for us to call out to Him.
It isn't that He isn't there.
It's that we aren't acknowledging that He is there.
And that is entirely our fault.
So we have no one to blame but ourselves.
Yes He puts people in our lives to lean on, and to seek advice from.
But He wants us to go to Him first.
And have Him be our number one source of comfort and support.
He knows everything!
So why go to someone else, someone who is biased, and has a wordly view?
He wants to help us, and as our Father, it is His job, and he longs to do it.
We just have to recognize that He is there, He is our Father, and He wants to help us.

The Bible says numerous times that God is our Father and that He loves us immensely.

*So don’t be misled, my dear brothers and sisters. Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow. He chose to give birth to us by giving us his true word. And we, out of all creation, became His prized possession.* James 1: 16 -18

*But when you pray, go away by yourself, shut the door behind you, and pray to your Father in private. Then your Father, who sees everything, will reward you.

“When you pray, don’t babble on and on as people of other religions do. They think their prayers are answered merely by repeating their words again and again. Don’t be like them, for your Father knows exactly what you need even before you ask him! Pray like this:

'Our Father in heaven, may your name be kept holy, may your Kingdom come soon.

May your will be done on earth, as it is in heaven.
Give us today the food we need, and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us.
And don’t let us yield to temptation, but rescue us from the evil one.'* Matthew 6: 6-13

There is an alamagation of verses that I found when I was online earlier, and I thought it would fit well with my blog posting this evening. The bibliography to this poem, as some would call it, is at the end.

I hope and pray that we can see that God is our Father and that he loves us immensely. He wants us to go to Him when we are not only sad, hurt, or at rock bottom, but when we are happy too. He is our Father and he wants us to know he loves us.

My Child:
You may not know me, but I know everything about you ~ Psalm 139:1
I know when you sit down and when you rise up ~ Psalm 139:2
I am familiar with all your ways ~ Psalm 139:3
Even the very hairs on your head are numbered ~ Matthew 10:29-31
For you were made in my image ~ Genesis 1:27
In me you live and move and have your being ~ Acts 17:28
For you are my offspring ~ Acts 17:28
I knew you even before you were conceived ~ Jeremiah 1:4-5
I chose you when I planned creation ~ Ephesians 1:11-12
You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book ~ Psalm 139:15-16
I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live ~ Acts 17:26
You are fearfully and wonderfully made ~ Psalm 139:14
I knit you together in your mother's womb ~ Psalm 139:13
And brought you forth on the day you were born ~ Psalm 71:6
I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me ~ John 8:41-44
I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love ~ 1 John 4:16
And it is my desire to lavish my love on you ~ 1 John 3:1
Simply because you are my child and I am your father ~ 1 John 3:1
I offer you more than your earthly father ever could ~ Matthew 7:11
For I am the perfect father ~ Matthew 5:48
Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand ~ James 1:17
For I am your provider and I meet all your needs ~ Matthew 6:31-33
My plan for your future has always been filled with hope ~ Jeremiah 29:11
Because I love you with an everlasting love ~ Jeremiah 31:3
My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore ~ Psalm 139:17-18
And I rejoice over you with singing ~ Zephaniah 3:17
I will never stop doing good to you ~ Jeremiah 32:40
For you are my treasured possession ~ Exodus 19:5
I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul ~ Jeremiah 32:41
And I want to show you great and marvelous things ~ Jeremiah 33:3
If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me ~ Deuteronomy 4:29
Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart ~ Psalm 37:4
For it is I who gave you those desires ~ Philippians 2:13
I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine ~ Ephesians 3:20
For I am your greatest encourager ~ 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17
I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles ~ 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you ~ Psalm 34:18
As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart ~ Isaiah 40:11
One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes ~ Revelation 21:3-4
And I'll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth ~ Revelation 21:3-4
I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus ~ John 17:23
For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed ~ John 17:26
He is the exact representation of my being ~ Hebrews 1:3
He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you ~ Romans 8:31
And to tell you that I am not counting your sins ~ 2 Corinthians 5:18-19
Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled ~ 2 Corinthians 5:18-19
His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you ~ 1 John 4:10
I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love ~ Romans 8:31-32
If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me ~ 1 John 2:23
And nothing will ever separate you from my love again ~ Romans 8:38-39
Come home and I'll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen ~ Luke 15:7
I have always been Father, and will always be Father ~ Ephesians 3:14-15
My question is ~ Will you be my child? ~ John 1:12-13
I am waiting for you ~ Luke 15:11-32
Love, Your Dad, Almighty God

(http://www.habeeb.com/fathers.love.letter/fathers.love.letter.english.html)

The Termination Of The Developing Progeny

I love children, most of the time! Haha
Sure they are loud, crazy, a lot of work, copious amounts of responsibility, and expensive.
But all in all, they are wonderful.
Amazing. Pure. Full of life.

People think that babies are only humans once they have been born.
I completely disagree.
When I was pregnant with Jude I went to a doctors appointment during the beginning of my pregnancy.
The first time I heard his heartbeat, my goodness, it was beautiful.
I cried.
It was a beautiful moment.
The doctor informed me that his heart was the size of the tip of a match, and we could hear it beating.
Wow.
Talk about amazing.
I loved him so much at that point, but that day, my love for him grew immensely.

So how can people think that babies are not humans!
It does not make sense.
Life starts at conception.
They are human beings.

People say that they are not humans so they can be sexually irresponsible and get abortions.
This is a very controversial matter, and most people just will not take sides to avoid confrontation.
I am not one of those people.
When I have an opinion, I voice it.

The Bible does not use the words *abortion* or *prolife*
But it does speak of life beginning in the womb, not once the baby is born:

*The word of the LORD came to me, saying, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations* (Jeremiah 1:4-5)

*Listen to me, O house of Jacob, all you who remain of the house of Israel, you whom I have upheld since you were conceived, and have carried since your birth. Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.* (Isaiah 46:3-4)

It even speaks of murder, and how abortion is murder:

*Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed. Rescue the weak and needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked* (Psalm 82:3-4)

*Rescue those being led away to death; hold back those staggering toward slaughter. If you say, "But we knew nothing about this," does not he who weighs the heart perceive it? Does not he who guards your life know it? Will he not repay each person according to what he has done?* (Proverbs 24:11-12)

They are babies. Amazing, wonderful, innocent, and pure. They have fingernails. Little eyelashes. Baby toes!
How could anyone justify terminating such life!

BUT!
There is hope and forgiveness for those of whom have aborted a baby!
Yes, you have destroyed a life.
But God is a loving and forgiving God, and he will forgive you if you seek it.

*Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.* (Psalm 51:1-2)

*Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity. Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.* (Psalm 51:9-10)

*If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives. My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One.* (1 John 1:9-2:1)